How I Spent my Saturday

My niece and brother came again on Saturday. The task was removing the deck. It will be replaced with a new and improved deck once the siding is installed. I borrowed my neighbor's truck and we made a trip to the dump. This was my first experience at the county dump-- something that I think only needs to be experienced once! It was smelly and the process very inefficient. Though it did reinforce my commitment to recycling. Nonetheless, I was glad to be rid of all the wood. We had lunch at Costa Vida to celebrate our success.

Memorial Day 2009

When I was growing up Memorial Day meant a picnic at Crystal Creek with the Thackeray clan with lots of great food (lots is the key word here). We would have grilled hamburgers, Aunt Elsie's homemade hamburger buns, Aunt Barbara's taco salad, and lots of other yummy salads and side dishes. The afternoon was a softball game that included kids of all ages. That was our tradition.

I remember reading letters from my Aunt in Utah talking about going to the graves on "Decoration Day." What is "Decoration Day??" I thought. After we moved to Utah, Memorial Day was a lot different. We actually went to the grave sites and "decorated" them with mums. This included a trip to the Croydon, Richville, Porterville and Ogden Cemeteries. Every time I go to Porterville I wonder how the pioneers ever dug a grave on that hard rock pile.

Speaking of rock piles, that is what I live on. I spent my Memorial Day weekend working on the house and yard. My brother came on Saturday to replace the lovely sliding glass doors located at the backside of my garage. They had plastic butterfly and flower appliques. Definitely the 70's look. The new steel security door looks better already. I should have done this years ago, but with new siding just a couple of weeks away, now seemed like a good time. My niece Ms. L came and helped too. She watered my plants (that miraculously survived piles of snow shoveled off the driveway this winter), helped move a pile of rocks I dug out of my garden spot last year, cut up cardboard boxes for the recycle bin, and was the errand girl at Home Depot. She definitely earned her trip to Boston!

Today I spent the morning working in the yard. With two nights and a day of rain I knew it would be perfect weed-pulling weather. I am very sore tonight :) I also got the garden planted. As I used the shoved to turn the dirt in the garden I thought of my great grandmother Sarah Jane. She ran a whole farm by herself. She must have been so strong- physically, mentally and spiritually. I've written about her before. I thought again of what an amazing woman she was. She gives me motivation to continue forward doing hard things in life.

One tomato plant...next year I am going to use "grow boxes."


A few weeks ago I invested in a new wheat grinder. This afternoon I made cornbread from ground popcorn kernels. YUM! I highly recommend this recipe. It was light, tasty, and the texture was very fine. I also ground some fresh flour made whole wheat bread.

Fresh whole wheat flour


Yummy Corn Bread

Whole wheat bread. I may have to practice a few times to make this as good as my white bread. Though whole wheat is always more dense than white.

It's felt more like "Labor Day" than Memorial Day! Think I'll go to bed early.
Life is Good!

The Pony Express Would Have Been Faster

Two weeks ago I am talking to my sister on the phone. I ask if she got the Mother's Day card I sent. She said, "yes." Then she asked if I got the one that she sent to me? "No," I replied. She had sent it on Wednesday and usually I get it the next day. But there was no card in the mailbox that day, or for several days afterward. I told her that maybe it would be one of those stories where it shows up 20 years later.

After a week of no card, she gave in told me what the card said and that there was a pair of earrings inside. I thought that maybe the US mail system had become like other countries where they confiscate items that they think will be of value and I would never receive the card.

Yesterday I get a notice in my mailbox that there is a "postage due" envelope waiting for me at the post office. The sender's last name was my sister's. Hum.... For just 75 cents I could finally have my Mother's Day card. So today on the way to work I stopped at the post office, paid the ransom money and got my gift. The earrings are really cute- silver hearts.

But honestly, where has this card been for the last two weeks?? The Pony Express would have delivered it faster!

Life is Good.

A Funny...

My sister-in-law, Gina, used to send me emails about the funny things the girls said or did. She would put in the subject line, "A Funny..."

Well, today I got "A Funny" text message from my sister. It read:

"It's official- Sarah's mom is nicer because she can wear flip flops to school."

I was enduring a boring professional conference session and this little message made me laugh!

Life is Good!

What Matters Most

In preparation to move to a different office down the hall, I have started cleaning out my files. This fall it will be 10 years since I started at BYU. I've collected a lot of papers in that time; others I brought with me from the department of health. As I put paper after paper in the recycle bin, I started thinking about what is really important in life. How many journal articles that I write will eventually end up in someone's recycle bin?

I was reminded of a quote by Neal A. Maxwell that is so apropos:

"What finally matters, brothers and sisters, is what we have become. There will be no puffed vitas circulating in the next world. They stay here--in the files. What we will take with us--to the degree we have developed them-- will be the cardinal qualities that Jesus has perfected; these are eternal and portable."

Two notes I received this week reminded me of what is really most important-- people. Both notes relate to family. One is from my niece, the other from one of my guests from Mother's Day dinner.

1. YAH!!! I am counting down, as of May 12,2009, we have 47 days until our trip!!!! I have a calendar in my room and I rip off a day every morning…..Thanks for taking me on this trip!

2. I wanted to thank you for being such a great second mother to me while I'm away at school...I know that sometimes you wish you could be off in Atlanta or some other exotic location, but I'm grateful you're still in Utah...

Yes, sometimes I do wish I was in Atlanta or some exotic location. But all in all, I am so blessed and acknowledge the Lord's hand in my life. And being able to be around family both immediate and extended is one of the greatest blessings of all. And I am blessed to associate with such wonderful people at work, including colleagues and students. The best part of the university is getting to know the students, not the journal articles I write that will one day end in the recycle bin.

Life is Good!

Thoughts on Being Single

Once my sister in-law sent me a list of all the great things about being single. I have it tucked away somewhere, run across it now and then, read it, and remind my self that life is good. There are a lot of advantages to being single, and most days I really like it. But at the moment, I am really not liking it so much.

I am trying to make a decision about my house-- re-siding my house. I've already decided to reside and not paint the ugly wood that is there. One decision down. Now there are decisions about horizontal siding v. board and batten. What color matches the brick the best? Should the trim color contrast or blend? Should I do shutters? What about putting insulation- the R-value is really low, so is it really worth the cost. Am I really ready to spend this much money? I'd really rather take a trip to Italy-- which is why it has taken me this long to get around to doing it. An exotic vacation or a house improvement?? That is a pretty easy decision.

But for all the other big decisions, I would really like to have someone to bounce ideas off of and make a choice together. But it is just me deciding what to do. Though friends, my parents, or siblings can share advice, the ultimate decision is up to me. And that's a lot of pressure. I've had similar feelings when I bought my first condo, purchased this house, bought a brand new car, remodeled the inside of my house.

It takes me forever to make decisions because I am so deliberate and want to make sure that there is no "buyer's remorse." An impulsive person I am not. For those of you who know me, this will come as no new revelation.

Well, back to the deliberations and decisions.

Life is Good

P.S. turned on the sprinklers for the first time today. No winter repairs are needed. Yeah!

Mothers and Mothering

In Church today, one of the speakers encouraged us to write our own Mother's Day talk- including our feelings, experiences, and perspectives. Here is the first part of what my talk would include...

“Who is flying with you back to Georgia?” my four-year-old niece, Katie, inquired as she sat on my lap, intensely focused on painting my fingernails purple. I was living in Atlanta for a year, on a temporary leave from my job at Brigham Young University. “Nobody,” I replied. “I am going by myself.” “Will you cry?” Katie asked. “I will cry when I say goodbye to you tonight,” I replied. “Do you have a picture of us?” Katie queried. Yes, I had plenty of pictures. As a woman with no children of my own, I have strived to become the “favorite aunt” of six nieces and nephews.

One of our primary roles as women is that of being a mother. When we speak of being a mother there are generally two facets that emerge: mothering and motherhood. Mothering tends be described as what we do as women as manifest in acts of nurturing, teaching, loving, and guiding. Mothering opportunities are available to everyone regardless of age or marital status. Personally, I have been blessed with a multitude of mothering moments through my service in church callings, associations with friends, and my work with university students. I have also been the recipient of mothering by women other than my mother.

Here are two mothering moments I recall. When my niece was 11 years old I took her to Hawaii on vacation. One day while driving along the shore, we saw a wedding ceremony on the beach. We talked about the importance of a temple marriage and how it compared to the beach wedding. In 2003, my sister’s five-year-old son, had a brain tumor and underwent two major surgeries and a year of chemotherapy. I love him with all my heart. I have shared mothering moments with him. I cried when I heard of his brain tumor diagnosis. The night following his first brain surgery was a restless one. The next morning the nurses asked my brother-in-law if my nephew knew a person named “Rosemary.” He replied, yes, that it was his aunt. The nurse indicated that throughout the night my nephew thought that I was there with him.

I believe we should speak confidently of motherhood. At times people may be reluctant to talk about motherhood with the fear that a childless woman may be offended or mothers will be filled with guilt over their inadequacies and shortcomings. That should not be the case. Motherhood is an important, noble, divine calling. Women need to receive support, love, validation, and reinforcement as they strive to magnify their call as mothers.

I also believe we should speak more often about mothering. Mothering is a behavior that spans a lifetime. You do not need to be a mother to do it-- many women have never given birth but still practice mothering. My friend Karrie’s mother passed away when she was a young adult, before she was married. Throughout her life, she has been the recipient of mothering from women around the world. As a young bride, the Tongan women in the Hawaiian Islands taught Karrie how to love. This mothering has blessed not only Karrie’s life, but also those with whom she associates and serves. Indeed, our collective mothering efforts contribute to the character development and testimony of those within our circle of influence. Therefore, we should consider speaking more frequently not only of motherhood, but also about mothering and its impact on our lives. We should celebrate mothering as often and with as much jubilation as we do motherhood.

The Sabbath

As this is the Sabbath day, I thought I'd share an insight I had recently. In my personal scripture study I was reading in the Old Testament about the Children of Israel and the Sabbath day. I have always believed that the Sabbath was a day to rest from our labors (Exodus 20:9-10). For those who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, where we are very active members of our congregations, a day of rest may seem impossible. We do rest from our temporal labors and the focus of our labor becomes spiritual or holy.

Recently during my scripture study I read the following in Exodus 31:13, "...Verily my Sabbaths ye shall keep: for it is a sign between me and you throughout your generations; they ye may know that I am the Lord that doth sanctify you."

Now as I approach each Sunday, I remind myself that it is the Lord that sanctifies me. Approaching the Sabbath with this perspective has changed how I view the day. It is not just a day to rest from my temporal labors, but a chance to focus on the Savior, the atonement, and His power to sanctify me and to one day make me holy.

Life is Good.