Last winter I started a research project with students here at BYU. We interviewed freshmen women about what in the university environment influenced how they feel about their bodies (body image). I am reading through hundreds of pages of transcript. A major theme is that women compare themselves to other women-- from looks, to clothing, to smartness, to dating opportunities, etc.
So, to those few loyal blog readers my question to you is this.... why do we as women compare ourselves to other women? Why do we wish we were like someone else? Why do we covet the qualities other people have? Any ideas????
3 comments:
Maybe that's the topic for the next research project? =)
I'm less experienced in certain areas and look to other women for examples and advice. I'm past wanting to BE someone else, but I definitely see qualities like patience, compassion, selflessness, cheerfulness, etc. that I try hard to emulate. Usually it's not because I'm beating myself about being a bad person. I'm just always trying to do better. That is one thing I have loved about moving to a new area. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, and I have a whole new sample of women to learn from!
I will say that for lots of women, feelings of inadequacy play a huge role in coveting others' qualities. The people close to me who deal with this developed those feelings of inadequacy over a period of years and years so that their "inferiority complex" rules and they never feel good enough. The comparison I described above still happens, but there's always the twist of "she's better, I'm worse," rather than "I'm trying to develop her desirable attribute."
Clearly, I'm starting to ramble, and since I'm not a psychologist, I can't really answer your question!
Good luck with your research! I would love to read the final report (but I'm glad I don't have to write it...)
While society would probably tell us it is the peer pressure (media, etc.) that pushes us to covet and want what other women have, I think it is more of an internal problem. I believe that if we truly, truly understood the divine within us, and could maintain that understanding, we would not look outside of ourselves for approval or satisfaction, nor would we be influenced by the negative messages outside of us. As an associate of mine says, "we as Mormons say that we believe in the idea of Divine Nature, but for some reason we use it selectively -that it's validity for us and others seems to depend on what other people think of us or what we think of them, how we feel about ourselves and others or how others feel about themselves or about us . . ." And that is exactly what I tend to do. It's like a bad habit that I grew up with and now need to get rid of. Easier said than done. A daily battle. I suppose it's the reason we are supposed to focus so much on Christ and his atonement. He will help us understand our divine nature and help us get to that level of peace and acceptance of who we are, what we have and where we are going. There you have it . . . my two cents.
Post a Comment