Celebrating Mr. J's Life

Ten years ago this weekend, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon much like today, I tried to coax my

October 2003

nephew, Mr. J, to go for a walk down to the school playground. Usually it didn't take much effort to get him to go outside and play. But that day he didn't want to go; he wanted to sit next to his mom with his head in her lap. When I asked why he didn't want to go, he couldn't give a reason-- just didn't want to.

In the previous few weeks Mr. J had been acting differently-- not being able to see the bottle of soap in the bathroom to wash his hands; incontinence; stumbling as he got on the school bus; needing help to zip up his pants. The pediatrician attributed it to separation anxiety since he just started kindergarten.

Call it a mother's intuition, a hunch, or whatever you want, but my sister knew something was wrong. And that afternoon so did my mom and I. We sat in the living room with tears welling up in our eyes, trying not to cry.

As I drove home that night, leaving I-84 and crossing on to I-80 toward Park City, I had the thought come to me that it was too late to develop my faith in God. I either believed that God lived and He would hear and answer our prayers and help Mr. J, or I didn't.

In the ensuing days, weeks, months, and years I have never prayed for anything so hard as I did for Mr. J.

The next morning when I got to my office I called my sister. I told her that I knew she was the mom, but there was something really wrong with Justin and she needed to call Dr. Sandy Friden. He was a family member and my parent's doctor. I knew that we could get in to see Sandy, soon! Mom called Sandy's office and got an appointment for later that morning. Within minutes of Mr. J being in his office, Sandy knew what was wrong. He sent my sister back to the hospital in Logan for more tests. Before she got home there was a message that Mr. J had fluid on the brain. Sandy had also scheduled an appointment with a neurologist at Primary Children's Medical Center (PCMC) for the next day. On Wednesday Mr. J had the first of two major brain surgeries for a brain tumor. His only question for the surgeon was whether he was going to take out all of his brain. Five year old innocence!

Mr. J also went through two rounds of chemotherapy, experienced a major seizure, had to take medicine to slow down his growth, and endured countless visits to the oncology unit at PCMC. Finally this year they told him to come back "in a year" for his next scan. Woot. Woot. The day we have been waiting for.

Fortunately, Mr. J doesn't remember much of what happened. And for the most part, he is a typical teenager, though more pensive and quiet. He was forced to grow up before his time. He has a scar on his head that is visible because he keeps his hair really short. Once in a while kids will ask what the scar is for. He responds nonchalantly that he had surgery. Missing the nearly the first year of kindergarten has made school challenging for Mr. J.  He works really hard for the grades he gets. He doesn't have vision below his eyes-- for example as I type this I can see my hands though I am looking at the screen. He can't do that. But we don't know if that is a result of the tumor or if it was always that way.

July 2013

Mr. J is extremely talented in art and music. He plays the piano by ear; he can transpose piano music for his viola. He can draw almost anything. And he is extremely sensitive and caring.

I love all my nieces and nephews like they are my own children. I am so grateful for God's tender mercies and kindnesses. So grateful that Mr. J is still with us. I love him.

In a couple of weeks we are going to have a celebration of life. We will celebrate Mr. J's ten year anniversary. We we also celebrate the fact that my sister-in-law G. is almost finished with chemotherapy for breast cancer. I now pray daily for her, that she will be healed, that she will have the strength to endure this trial.

Life is good. The gospel of Jesus Christ brings peace and comfort in time of sorrow and heartache. So grateful for my testimony of the Savior.

Life is Good!